Dating Mr.Blue Eyes
The First Date with Mr.Blue Eyes went very well we met at a local Steak House for drinks and the second date we returned and ate there again.
By the third date we met at a local bar and the same for was date 4-5.
We have since been on a total of 11 dates.
Yes eleven dates is a record for me in the dating game.
So how has it all been going?
On the first date, Mr.Blue Eyes ticked a lot of boxes on my checklist of what I like in a man.
He is pursuing me, is a gentleman and tells me he is an Alpha Male figure. He is also in tune with his femenine side and even moisturises, does the sunbed and wears fake tan (he told me on date 10).
By the third date I was introduced to his friends and they seem to be genuine lovely people. Down to earth and from different backgrounds and professions.
Mr.Blue Eyes did not try to hide his interest in me, and told me his kids like my pictures and are saying nice things about me.
I chose not to write too much early on dating Mr.Blue Eyes here on my blog, but did do youtbe videos (below) with updates on how it is going.
I wanted things to happen naturally and organically and enjoy the experiences of getting to know him.
At around date 6 he invited me over to his home to chill out and we watched a movie.
Since then, our dates have mainly been over at his home, watching movie, eating my chicken and wholegrain rice cakes -I am on my Make Over Essex Bikini Athlete diet.
Then last Saturday evening we had Date 10 - a lovely dinner at a country pub diner and I chose to have a rare "cheat meal" of Steak Burger and sweet potato and vegetables. I do not drink alcohol at all, so had my diet coke.
So Saturday nite Date 10 went well and it was a lovely winter evening cold and the stars were out in the clear midnight blue sky.
We went back to his house and then I was so tired after having had a cold all week and training through it so I drove home for midnight.
Little did I know what was about to happen the next day.
Sunday morning I awoke at 7am and felt ill.
I ran to the loo, and could hardly stand up feeling faint and dizzy. My head was banging badly. I recall sitting on my bed thinking I was about to faint and pass out, something was NOT RIGHT.
I rang an ambulance as I felt myself fainting but managed to dial after 3 failed attempts to put my phone password number in correctly.
I was SO SCARED as I was alone and really KNEW SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT.
I rang the amublance and spoke in bullet points telling the operator
"Please help I am fainting I am alone" then I proceeded to VOMIT all over my floor and could hardly speak.
I pleaded her to help, and she told me to focus on her words to help keep me AWAKE until the ambulance arrived.
I told her in tears that I was upstaris and had to go down the stairs to open the door but I could NOT STAND UP without feeling faint.
She helped me focus and I took one step at a time and got to open the door in time. The ambulance crew were there and they helped me upstairs.
After a few questions and nearly passing out twice in front of them I was taken into the amublance and given Morphine. I have a Gastro condition I am living with and I have good days and bad days. This was a bad flare up.
Apart from that I am healthy and train and diet as normal. So I knew what was happening and how I had to GET THROUGH IT ALL. I just needed some rest. Then I could recover.
So I was at hospital that Sunday morning and by midday after 5 hours on the hydration and medication drip I had the energy to get m phone out and text a few people.
As it is very early- premature even - days of dating I struggled to think if it was appropriate to let Mr.Blue Eyes know what happened and that I was in hospital.
I decided it was best - and respectful to let him know. He whatsappped me straight away and told me he would come to the hospital. I was touched by his response as I really did not know him that well yet. I told him what happened and that I would go home in a cab to clear up the vomit. I told him I looked ill, was feeling so weak, and would he pick me up that evening after I got home to clean myself up. I did not want to be alone in case I blacked out.
I rang my teenage son who was not far and eating at his dads with his sister over, so he knew since i was in the ambulance what happened.
So Mr.Blue Eyes came over to me that evening and I could hardly move. He tied my shoelaces. Even sitting down - I could not bend over. I was so weak and light headed and could just about string a sentence together. I was drained and exhausted.
He took control and drove me back to his home where he looked after me that evening. I was so touched by his clearly visible caring side and it meant a lot to me that he was by my side.
Mr.Blue Eyes is showing me his character and I have learned that he is East-End born, self made man, been though his own life hurdles of a bitter Divorce battle which left him broke, temporatily defeated but he bounced back. He told me the bitter experiences he had left him a changed man.
He told me he has rebuilt his life over the last tricky 3 years and he is ready for a relationship. I have also learned a few things that I question, like a couple of facts he kept hidden until Date 10 and Date 11 recently.
But one thing is for sure- he is a gentleman with a kind side. So as I learn more about this guy I am dating, I guess there are things which I may not be comfortable with, but I am looking at his positive sides.
It takes a long time to get to know someone and I am resolutely sticking to my Rachel's Dating Rules.
After our Thursday Date 11 drinks at a private party - I did not see Mr.Blue Eyes, and politey turned down his suggestion to see him over the weekend, when it was his weekend to see his son, as I felt it too premature to do so.
I was not and am not yet ready to meet his children ( two in their 20's and one teenage son) as it is much too early for me.
I am still in the Dating stages of learning about who Mr.Blue Eyes is - his personality,, character, what he likes, doesn npt like, how we get on when we are alone and not surrounded by his friends.
Its been only nearly 4 weeks we have known each other and there is still a LONG WAY to go, to get to know each other.
I am in no rush, as he knows and understands.
One thing that I believe in is to never rush in, and to take your time dating for the first three months. It is not in fact a long time at all and as Patti Stanger Dating matchmaker, author and Guru to the stars, says "Do not rush in".
I trust my instincts and listen to Patti's advice. I am not rushing into anything and am wishing to enjoy these Honeymoon period of dating Mr.Blue Eyes. These first three months are critical before even thinking or progressing onto the dating stages of being intimate together. We are not there yet. Still a lot to learn about each other and I feel going slow is best.
If and when that Intimacy time together happens, it must be right. So at the moment I am focusing on the festive season, and Mr.Blue Eyes has asked me to see him over Christmas. I have a friend staying wtih me Christmas which was planned this summertime so I do not think it appropriate to cancel previously made plans. I am of the belief that you do not go back on your word, just because you have met and are dating a new man. Remember, friends are important as much as finding a man to date and eventually have a relationship with.
So I guess I shall manage Christmas efficiently and get to see the important people in my life. My teenage son, my friends and of course, dating Mr.Blue Eyes.
What is key to finding out if we are a MATCH include Lifestyle choices: I am 45 he is 54 (originally let me believe he was 47) I train 4-5 times a week, he does not. I dont drink nor do pubs, he does. I like my own company and being with him on a 1-1, he seems to like his friends around him on our dates.
I am happy in my own skin, and spiritually developed, having worked with or hired life-coaches or therapists for guidance.
He still seems to be holding onto negative emotions from past relationships, wheres I had therapy for mine years ago.
Dating is tough, when you know what you want. I don't think compromise is the word here, I would rather refer to it as learning to adjust to the person you are dating and knowing if you are comfortable spending time together. Your heart must miss a beat.
Sparks are not flying as I thought they might be, with MrBlueEyes because at the moment it's more that we are in the friends zone.
I did find him very attractive in the early stages of dating, first five dates. After then, I can see how I felt like that was put on hold, as I was being a therapist listening to his stories politely. I did mention this to him on Date 11 and he mentioned that someone told him he was talking too much about his past. Whilst I am grateful he is telling me about his past relationships, the date should be romantic. But at around the Date 8-11 mark we were hanging out like friends.
So now we are around the Date 11 mark, I feel we are too much in the friends zone still.
As it happened - the attraction spark of the first few dates went from romantic to friends zone quite quickly.
I think there should be a balance of romance and friends zone.
I hear of people who talk of their loved ones as " lover, best friend, soul mate, life partner" and I guess I have never had it so to see it happen would be awesome.
To create romantic moments where you just KNOW something beautiful is happening, and the courtship rituals are so important to keep it alive. I guess this is what falling in love should look like. I believe its the man's job to do this. To take the lead. I don't want to wear the trousers in a dating relationship.
Otherwise, it's just the friends zone.
To be continued.........
videos are below