Chapter One- Rachel on First Dates Channel Four TV
Rachel Evans appeared on award-winning Channel Four's hit TV Reality show First Dates Series 2 Episode 6 which aired in 2014.
Millions of TV viewers watched Rachel on First Dates in the restaurant on a date with Alan. (Then in 2015 Rachel's date was in the Channel Four Top Picks First Dates video).
"One day in early 2014 I got a phone call from a Channel Four producer who told me they got my number from a colleague who said I was single and they heard that I had broken up with my toxic ex-fiance that previous year in January 2013.
So cut a long story short, I was invited onto the first series of First Dates. I declined saying I was not ready to date again and was focusing on my bikini athlete training for the UK on-stage competitions.
So I forgot about it. Then a few months later I received a second call inviting me to do the show. I said no again. I did not think I was interesting enough to be on TV.
Then late that year I received a third call :) saying the Channel Four TV First Dates producers really wanted me to be on the show.
So I said yes. And thats the story behind my appearance on the First Dates TV dating reality show.
I decided to be on the show as I had been on a few real-life dates but was totally put off dating and thought I was not maybe attracting the right sort of guy.
So it was destiny that Channel Four TV producers rang me three times that year to be on the show. In fact, looking back I learned a lot about myself -going on dates, what I want and it taught me how to be more authentic and brutally honest about what type of guy I like.
In my book I will of course write more in chapter One on the intimate details of being on the First Dates show with my entertaining date Alan. Or was it Adam. ...Watch the Youtube video and see the Channel Four website. if you can't wait for the book.
So my dating life since I appeared on the TV show First Dates has been quite slow. I really am happy single and have two great jobs I do, plus my bikini athlete training and competing on stage. But finding Mr.Right is just something I probably need help with. Im not that good at going on date
I tried internet dating but was getting recognised from the TV show and it was uncomfortable for me for a while. So I could not post pictures on my profile. I gave up. My heart was not in dating. Then a friend told me to just post private invite-only pics on the online dating profile.
So currently I am on one internet dating site -( no im not telling you) with no photos. I dont even log in as Im so busy and happy with my life. The good thing is i can log in once a week to check if I like anyone who emails me a photo request. Most are deleted to be honest.
Chapter 2 is below.
Chapter 3 will be about my dates in 204-2015 lots of funny stories to share.
The Reason I Wrote the book.
I have always been a writer. It is a calling.
I started my working life as a Court Reporter for Reuters News Agency in early 1990's and was the youngest press bench journalist on The Maxwell Fraud Trial, Old Bailey early 1990's. I had years before worked as a 'stringer' freelancer for a Music Week Magazine on George Michael V Sony Music High Court Contract Restraint of Trade court case in 1992/3.
I wrote my first book (unpublished) on George Michael's contract with Sony, based upon hours of witness testimony, privileged court documents, satements of claim and testimony.
It was my calling as a writer, until writers block hit. So i put it all aside. I then worked for several years in Fashion and as a model.
But my calling has always been as a journalist and writer. It is like being haunted by a talent that keeps tapping you on the back, you cannot say goodbye to. Its like giving birth to your creative ideas and you CANNOT REST (I have insomnia) until these creative or artistic ideas are published and VOICED. No matter what I was doing work-wise to pay the bills, I always found a WAY to WRITE.
As a published journalist and public figure I have been interviewed on my lifestyle and experiences. This includes how I achieve my young looking size 8 bikini-body, beauty routines, fitness regime and diet/nutrition. I have also been and asked my views on relationships and dating, healthy sex within a happy relationship.
These published interviews, TV, print, newspapers, magazines and digital media are still available to read online.
Many of those interviews are timeless, and still apply today. They are a BIG part of who I am.
So with these points in mind, I ask readers of my Rachel's Dating Blog & Book to be able to learn through my past and present experiences. I talked often on BOOKS I HAVE LEARNED FROM and thus I wish to SHARE my knowledge through these experiences, good or bad.
(See press below and in Chapter 2).
I wish to INSPIRE other women out there to get out of bad relationships and to also date successfully in their search for Mr.Right. I did a double page spread report on My Modern Search For Mr.Right in Daily Express 2010.
So my book starting from 2012 to the present 2015 is about my real-life journey and eperiences and lessons I have learned which I want to share to help others in their quest to FIND MR.RIGHT (or Ms.Right).
It is not about revenge, there is no bitterness. Just a "Success Is the Best Revenge" account and the characters in the book just happened to be a part of my real-life journey.
My own research and inspirational relationship gurus include Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker in the USA; Life Coaches Jerry & Esther Hicks of New York best seller book The Law of Attraction.
I talk in my blog and book on CBT Therapy I had in 2012 which was life coaching to EXTRICATE MYSELF from a Toxic relationship.
Since I have decided to do my Rachel's Dating Blog to share with you dating life experiences, I will include Youtubes videos on my date night outfits, hair and make-up date looks. I will even share the challenges I faced, and my thoughts when going on dates. Please note- I will keep private the identities of my dates. But I have so many stories and even horror stories to share that I will open up myself more to my followers and share my dating life experiences. No holds barred. Just honest dating experiences -the good the bad and the ugly. I will also write a few on my last serious relationship, as seen in The Daily Express Succcess interview exactly one year to the date of the break up (my leaving him early Jan 2013) published on January 2nd 2014 and why it went wrong and its quite explosive. But I learned a lot of lessons sometimes the hard way. Again i will keep the name of this ex fiance private. I call him Mr. Businessman Ego.
My blog is a No Holds Barred blog & book. Some will be shocked some will not. So I hope you find my dating blog a good read, funny and entertaining. You know, maybe people will be shocked even on the types of guys I have dated.
Signing off from a very happily singleton Rachel love and kisses to all my followers xoxox
MY FIRST Rachel's Dating Blog will be how I escaped my toxic ex fiance and left him behind telling him to sleep with his millions and that he wouldnt be sleeping with me any more. I will call him Mr.Businessman Ego. And how courage gave me the will to walk out of relationship Hell with nothing but the clothes on my back and my Beetle car to escape the torture and how I went onto a bigger success. Success Is The Best Revenge.
this chapter will be my first one here below. xoxox
It was Olympic year 2012 when I did The Sex Olympics double page interview on healthy sex & fun positions. It was a valid way to look at how healthy sex can keep you fit. I always felt I was happier in a relationship, (now I'm happier single) and doing this interview article was fun. Luckily I kept the focus on myself. It was not a relationship article just me giving my fitness & healthy lifestyle journalist sex tips and opinion.
It was a huge year for press interviews and 2012 saw me in Woman's Own magazine talking about how I overcame bullying at school -bullied for my looks. Again it was about my childhood and not relationships. I was pictured under Simon Cowell and next to a female from Dragon's Den.
Above - my interview in The Daily Express 2013 January 2nd, exactly one year when I walked out away from my Toxic Ex-fiance Mr.Businessman Ego.
In contrast below its 2012 TV ITV1 documentary interview on the show by Chris Choi . I look drawn with the face showing signs of stress - hollow cheeks, the strain of the relationship with him.
Chapter One: Opportunists & Emotional Vampires
I have over ten years of publicity in the National press, TV interviews, print, newspapers, magazines, and digital. As a fitness and healthy lifestyle spokesmodel I have my public voice and puplic platform. Often I have made mistakes in public and it's out there for the record. But this I don’t mind. I am a growing person and it’s my fitness spokesmodel and lifestyle journey that I have long been sharing with the general public. You cannot please everyone. Your voice can be liked or not liked. I feel blessed that I have supportive professional friends. So good or bad publicity - either way - I am okay with that. It's part of the territory and being a public figure.
This year 2013 has been such a fab year for my work. As I promised on social media earlier this year, it is time tp publish my Dating Book and experiences. I am doing so via my website and Rachel's Dating Blog.
This year was also a deeply sad one. My beautiful mother Joan Evans (RIP) passed away in August after losing her battle with Cancer.
After her passing, I felt a LIGHT go ON in my head. I am stronger as a person, inspired and motivated to be more authentic with my voice in the media and public domain.
Through the voice of my Alter Ego, who is the real me, I speak openly and am brutally honest. My Alter Ego is the strong independent female voice in my head who is saying speak openly.
The Rachel Evans who I am professionally as a journalist is someone who has to think before she speaks. But like any creative artist, I must be true to my authentic self, and be genuine as a writer. I am not representing a brand but my own, Make Over Essex. So my dating blog and book is expressing my own personal views through the characters I have created in my head. These characters I have given names, and are all based upon true and real-life dating and relationship experiences.
I will use this authentic voice as I write my dating blog and dating book chapters.
My BOOK IS ALL ABOUT PERSONAL GROWTH FROM MY EXPERIENCES.
The relevance of this introduction is valid to my dating and relationships. When you meet someone new to date, its best to be yourself and be authentic. Try not to suppress the real you. Let it shine. Be authentic. I practise what I preach.
Until my self-confidence eventually was chipped away at and severely eroded during my 2012-2013 one year relationship with Mr. Businessman Ego. I often felt I had to hide my own self-confidence and success. Dim the light.
In the above screen TV still shots of me on the Richard Branson Railway-slash-travel debate, I was asked by a TV producer contact to give my interview and opinion on how I travel to and from work and on the railways services. I said yes, and appeared on ITV 1 Chris Choi documentary on Richard Branson and the railways.
But this example I am using as a very pubic example of how I felt I had to shine the spotlight AWAY from me, and onto my ex-fiancé Mr. Businessman Ego rather than on myself. I somehow managed to convince the TV producer that Mr. Businessman Ego's opinion would be "better than mine" as he "is a top financial broker".
They were not keen on the idea as they had approached me to be interviewed for opinion. We did a half day of filming. They filmed me in the car to work, with reality show type cameras on our car, me talking to camera in the office at work, and taking the train, walking along a train platform. I was filmed all along my train journey and walking to the office. I was filmed talking about my travel experiences on the train to work in comparison to my regular daily car journey to the office.
Upon my suggestion, then they agreed to also film my ex-fiancé Mr. Businessman Ego talking about how he sees the railways as an efficient or not form of travel. I wanted to keep my man happy but I learned another valuable LESSON publicly again. NEVER put yourself down or stand in someone else’s shadow to keep your BF/GF happy. It’s a BAD sign.
In the interview the footage filmed of me on camera was shrunk to a sentence or two. With lots of visuals of me travelling. As a journalist I like to voice my opinion, and learned from this lesson: Never give someone else your opportunities when they were meant for you.
At the time I did not mind at all, but the lesson was still there.
Not All Relationships Are Equitably Balanced
Pictures Speak Volumes on the Truth
And noticeably, on the TV screen back then I do look strained - talking- my face is drawn and tired (as seen in the pictures above). I was drained and worn down - from the strain of being in the relationship.
I used to call it being with an "Emotional Vampire". Not all relationships are equitably balanced. And this one was not. Often we don't know until it is too late that the "love" we are with is an emotional vampire sucking away draining your energy. This is not a HEALTHY relationship.
The next big lesson I learned was this: It was a friend who told me many months later that he thought my ex-fiancé was “Fame Hungry and with you for what you can offer him -that which he cannot get on his own". I was bit shocked and said "no that cannot be true. I saw him as a powerful successful man. I mean it's not like I am Madonna!" My friend was very astute and said "No Rachel, you are high profile and successful journalist, often in the public domain for many years before you met him, for your work and fitness & lifestyle spokesmodel in the press. Think about it. Go and look, just COUNT all the interviews in the media he wanted to be in when you did them".
Adding it All Up
And so I did. I thought hard. Then it all started to add up. Somehow I had missed it. My ex-fiancé was fame hungry. He was a hanger -on. He had always insisted on helping me with interviews and wanting to appear in the photoshoots. It’s all out there in print. On TV. Many features were high profile.
My Press interviews on Dating, Fitness & Health & Lifestyle sky-rocketed in 2012 thanks to my google prescence as a fitness, health and dating lifestyle spokesmodel and public figure.
I was published in The Sunday People Magazine, interview on "I Date By The Rules" talking about my dating rules and how I approach dating lifestyle. The ex-fiance Mr.Insurance Ego was happy to be pictured in my interview. Again it made him look good by association with me. There was the Marie Claire UK and India on my bedroom style; published interview in The Sunday People on going make-up for the day at work. Published in the Daily Mail newspaper on "Why Divorced Men Are Suddenly a Catch" me talking about how when dating, I liked to date Divorced man (considered more mature and available emotionally). And in this 2012 Daily Mail interview I felt the need to 'big up' the attractiveness of him. I always did. To make him feel good, as he was so negative as a person. Once he told me the money he had meant nothing. I asked him why he did not set up a charity then with all his money. He did not answer.
He was very insecure about his level of attractiveness, his teeth , his legs (he did not train legs and focused on upper body). Then there was the So Feminine magazine interview on my tips for healthy sex positions. He was okay with that as it made him look good in the bedroom, by association with me. His name did not even need to be mentioned. Clever move.
When I did the ITV Lorraine breakfast TV show interview I went live on air to support Celeb Big Brother ( and journalist friend) Samantha Brick over the Daily Mail newspaper "I am beautiful" debate plus a few more other interviews I gave in the press. He waited in the wings for me off camera and took day off running his business empire).
And in ALL of these press articles I felt the need to 'share' my own spotlight with the ex-fiancé Mr. Businessman Ego. When he really was relevant. But I CREATED that relevancy own my own head.
Why did I do it? I felt the need to give him this kind of equality. But there was no need. All I had to say was “let’s keep you out of my professional life in the public eye."
It was too hard for me to think on that way. The CBT Therapist helped me work it all out. The relationship had an imbalance in terms of what we brought to the table. I brought the beauty and glamour and success in the public eye and Mr. Businessman Ego brought the financial success of running his own private business. The two worlds joined together but should have stayed SEPARATE for it to be healthy. There are other factors which came into play like personality traits. But in short, we never should have worked together (he gave me a job as his PA to be closer to me) and I should have insisted that he keep his face out of my press and interviews in the media. In short the sacred territory of love and relationships was used and taken advantage of. At no point did Mr. Businessman Ego say to me, "no it’s best for us to do this separately" like lots of healthy successful couples do.
Bella Magazine Interview
When I appeared on the cover of Bella Magazine with the headline "Women Hate Me for Being Sexy" I did include Mr. Businessman Ego in the article. But strangely he did choose to criticise me for my opinion, and was more worried about what his work colleagues thought than supporting me. It did not add up. Hot and cold. Instead of being proud, he was ashamed and told me so. Yet he was HAPPY to be quoted and included by name in the double page spread interview I gave the magazine. Again the spotlight was on me. Not him. He did not like it.
Daily Mirror Interview -Bikini Body
The 2012 Daily Mirror bikini body interview I talked about my beauty and bikini body maintenance routines. Funny thing is the ex-fiancé Mr.Businessman Ego again I recall was not totally supportive, because he was not in it. When I was happy for publicity and interviews to come out in print it was nerve-wrecking mix of excitement and bit of fear (in case you get mis-quoted- (it's happened before a headline I didn’t say). But I do recall often my excitement was not shared by him. Again looking back the signs were there.
The Sunday People Magazine interview I gave was published in 2012 with me talking about my dating rules and dating lifestyle. Mr.Businessman Ego was happy to be pictured with me in my interview -again- and it made him look good.
And so my friend really did have a point. To re-cap - whenever I was doing national press or publicity my ex-fiancé Mr. Businessman Ego wanted his name, face and views in the picture. But back then I COULD NOT SEE IT. I WRONGLY thought “aw how sweet he is so supportive".
Nowadays I am so switched on its unreal. I can see through people. I guess it was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.
I have heard about successful couples who keep their working lives separate and the one in the public eye has their platform independently. Now I can see behind the non-genuine "I'm supporting you" approach of the ex-fiancé Mr. Businessman Ego when in reality he just wanted to get in on the act. His chance to shine.
"He is no more than a hanger-on" a friend later told me.
I only realised this true fact years later, when you add up the nasty words behaviour coupled with the emotional and physical abuse he gave me. It was all an act. The 'MR. NICE GUY FACE HE PRESENTED TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD was not really him. Jekyll and Hyde my therapist told me. Two faces of Mr. Businessman Ego.
BELOW -images for CHAPTER 2 SEE LINK HEADER ABOVE
A selection of the Publicity and Press Interviews I gave the media through my own journalist network, many with trusted journalists I have worked with over the years. Marie Claire UK, Marie Claire India, Bella Magazine, Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Mirror, Huffington Post USA, Gulf News Friday Magazine. Click on iamges to read FULL ONLINE INTERVIEWS. All published in 2012 on my own experiences and views on relationships and dating. I have blurred out the ID face and real name of Mr.BusinessMan Ego. My Dating interviews and lifestyle interviews he chose to be included in. As mentioned below. These are still available to read fully online :)
To read Chapter 2 see homepage and click on link.
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